I will Survive ! - the Corporate Call

At first I was afraid I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live inside corporate lifestyle
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how I did so wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so I am on it
with my mind on race
I just walk in everyday with a glorified smiling face
I have changed that stupid look
I have started to believe
If I had known for just one second I am hurting only me
Go on now go, do what u can do,
Just turn around now
'Cause u don't bother anymore
I was stupid enough to think I am a minion all the time
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh no not I. I will survive
Even when I go out out of breath
I know I'll stay alive
I've got so many docs to churn
I've got so many codes to run, yet I'll survive

(A big Heartfelt Thanks to Gloria Gaynor, for giving us something, that can be molded to anyone's frustration!)

Froggy Predictions :

1. When you have a juicy mango, watch your throat. It may not be designed to handle the juiciness. Same holds for all fruits based on season and people and built.


2. Never say No to an Indian autorickshaw wallah in Chennai at midnight, if you are stranded at a place and have no one else to pick you up, and the man is the last one to offer a lift. Convert the price to USD, thank God, its not much then, and get into the Auto.


3. Exercise regularly to remove the fat, pain, fatigue and fart that trouble others. This ensures peaceful life with people around.


4. If you have met a hot-bod mexican chick around the corner with a good sense of humour and voice to die for, walk away since you are dreaming. Waiting consequences : Robbed of underpants, to say the least and no pleasure at all.


5. If you are starting to believe froggy predictions, time to get sanity checked.

Happy life and keep hopping !!! Till next we meet, that is...

Alas ! What Kiran Rao did to my direction-less mind ..

She made a movie, and that has left me to ponder over the long time idea of writing fiction. And the thought-process is going so steady, that I am scared.

Amen.

Saat Khoon Maaf – Shot in a demented mind.

Vishal Bhardwaj’s upcoming movie – “Saat Khoon Maaf” (Seven Murders Forgiven), based on Ruskin Bond’s Susanna’s Seven Husbands from his book, When Darkness Falls and Other Stories, put my insane thought process to run.

Seven fathomable celebrity executions I would have loved to abet; unabashedly, shamelessly, nonchalantly. But sc**w Media, henceforth, I put cues as the names, easily guessable, worth the dry smile. Humour me, please.

1. Mr. ex-IIT-IIM, now hopeless writer – for writing heavily precedential Bollywood scripts and calling them books or novellas.
2. King of Bollywood’s best mate – for creating the movie industry’s most sucking movies ever and continue to do so, by taking exile breaks to foreign locales, pretending to churn out classics, instead, potions of boredom.
3. Mr. Nasal Artist - for his atrocity to compose music, sing, and even try a hand at acting!! And of course, torture all those, who went on to buy his songs and movies.
4. Mrs. Director-cum-mother of three of Bollywood – for making TMK along with her hubby. Both could have easily qualified as creators of an unfailing agent for Euthanasia.
5. This is a group massacre, which I would like to classify as a one-time killing: All Big Boss inmates, irrespective of seasons.
6. Any one CEO of a News Channel which airs Bollywood gossip, national lies and tries to expose dirty linen of peanut politicians and celebrities having little to do with our lives.
7. Finally, myself. For having to even think about the ones above for my blog, which, recently, has been out-of-activity anyways, and equally unproductive as any listed.

Disclaimer: The above written is purely the writer’s insanity and has nothing to do with living beings or things, assumed. If anybody else wants to take the responsibilities, the writer has no connection whatsoever.

13 B... Ouch !

One must really have been through serious s*** in life before he could cook up a plot alike this movie. Madhavan couldn't get more irritating (I have no words for rest of the cast, they were dismissable) and the concept couldn't be more pathetic. Then what prompts me to mention it in my ever-famous blog?(It really doesn't hurt to self-praise when no one else does.)
Well, it is the sequence of events post movie that my dear friend M* and I subsequently ended up in. They were something like:
1). Post movie, my body temperature was up by 13 C atleast due to high blood pressure and hyper-ventilation. I am sure that my pulse was also 130 beats/min.(cough-cough, OK...its exaggerated..)
2). M and I travelled arnd the city atleast 3-4 times after it and we ended up with a meter charge of 13 anywhere we went !!
3). M suddenly realised about his past birth while we were walking for our dinner. He claimed that the land the mall was standing was his ancestral property and he had been forcefully ousted from it in last birth. I seriously hoped that the claim would help us for a free meal at Mc D in the same mall. Phew, no avail...

Though TV helped Maddy to get to the root of the so-called bizarre events in life(that is the concept, folks..can you believe it !), I don't know what is going to help me come out of the madness of wasting money over painful Bollywood projects, no less bizarre ! Maybe, a good light-hearted movie, perhaps. Are you listening, Mr.Raju "Munnabhai" Hirani?

Slumdog Revisited...

paah...I know I must be the zillion-th person to write about this movie, but it still can be added to the list before reaching exhaustion. Watching SM, I wondered what would have happened if some Indian Guy had directed it.. would it have won so many Golden Globes and BAFTAs and the probable OSCARs too? Taking my thought a little more further (read: disaster) i wondered what if Mr. Sooraj Bharjatya had the oppurtunity to make SM... Won't it be tyranny to movies at its best ? So lets hit it folks !!!!

Possibilities Sustained:

• The title "Slumdog Millionaire" would definitely have to be changed, for heaven's sake !! To match upto Mr. Bharjatya's name-o-pedia, why not "Hum Gali-ke-Kutte Hain kaun, joh Crorepati banane-waale hain..."(phew !!! longest ever, I guess) WOW....the abbreviation would be HG2KHKJCBWH....(Random thought: he could use it as his e-mail password.)
  
• Movie opens with an elaborate song sequence of women dressed in vibrant colours welcoming Prem Malik(Jamaal is now Prem) and the host, Prem Kumar, of "Kaun banega SACCHAA Crorepati."
• We are replacing the cast, of course !! The host is "the long-forgotten" Mohnish Behl, Salman Khan as Prem (trying to look in his 20s and wearing a tight tee) and ofcourse, "yesteryear's sweet dame, today's pouting mame" - Bhagyashree as Latika Devi.( she still looks twenty). SB* had plans to cast Mr. Himalaya (her hus) as Prem's big B Salim, but the stone faced expressions weren't adequate for the over-emotive charactersand scenes involved here... so, Sallu Bhai's big Bhai is now taken by Sonu Sood....yaahhooo, the hyper-ventilating super-fluously righteous man who gets involved with underworld for the betterment of his younger brother's heart ailment.
• psst psst...Sallu is a heart patient.. So the first scene of playing cricket and running over slums is now changed to a golf course and Audis zipping around to tk young players(read: kids).After all, Sallu is a poor, rich son of a billionaire(Alok Nath, the perenial weeping father). Poor Sallu's richer father has spent all his billions to treat young boy but he does not recover...It will take the true love and care of a girl who is to come by...(We have interludes playing all along)
• Role 2: Bhagyashree is bhagya-heen coz she is born to a righteous saint in a brothel by chance... So she has to take up the dancing lessons to save her virginity and chastity.. Dancing away waiting for her prince "Prem" charming... Ring ringa ringa ring ringa ringa....Atta girl Latikaa !!!
  
• Sonu(Salim), to save his father's cuffs and Sallu's heart, plunges deep into underworld but instead, tries to reform the dons with Geeta pravachans. No avail.
• By now, Sallu(Prem bhai) is all beefed up and raring to go save Latikaa from the super flexing goons of Kamathipura...but his heart guys, his heart... We suddenly see Alok jee giving a big bhaashan to Prem to make him forget his heart and win back his love..( I am not going into details of how Prem met Latikaa....they were boating and Latikaa was singing and dancing in the boat...Rest is..ahem..)
• Prem fights goons with help of brother Salim... and saves Latikaa... Salim gets shot while jumping ahead of Prem to save him from a bullet which would have pierced his already hollow heart..(yuck yuck.. bad timing) Salim....booo-----hoooo.....dies !!!!!!!!!!! Big song sequence showing flashback of lil brothers in chaddi till date...(Were those pink chaddis?)
• Prem has surgery, but no money. What next? "Kaun Banega SACHCHAA Crorepati !!" Latika does a dare-devilry dance in temple of Maa Kaali while Prem plays till end..(by then, tomato sauce..oops..blood flows out from his nose, mouth, ears due to aaaargh...pain, guys !!) Prem Kumar, the host, lifts up pining Prem off the floor to make him answer the last question... and Janta ka vote makes him win !!!! 1 Crore !!!! Yippeeee, all blood dissapears (i think he licked up the sauce) and Prem stands triumphant when Latikaa comes running strainght from the finale performance to hug him...Alok jee's ashirwaad with Ganga-baho tears....
  
• We have the closing song playing..."Yeh Bandhan toh...pyaar ka bandhan hai...." (courtesy: Karan Arjun)

JAI BOL !!!!!

P.S: Last heard, Bharjatya had questioned OSCARS for their sense of cinema...

What sleep brought me
Last night, when I was off to sleep, little did I imagine whats gona happen next.. The last moments of light ticking away for the night, I-pod plugged in my ears, Bryan singing 18 till I die!!, me fondly remembering the goof-ups my boyfriend did or does (more appropriate), sleep beckoning me, "Come Sni....come.....lose yourself in mee......"...ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...
Dinggggggggggg !!!! Its morning Snigdha! and the day starts worser than ever...The Milk waala forgot to give milk (mental note: it happens quite often, i gotta reprimand that fellow!), The bai didnt turn up..(just another mental note, sigh!), The dustbin waala forgets just our garbage (maybe he found it too stinky to add to his bin too, thanks to my oh-so-clean roommates!), and the best is yet to come, there is no power in house !!
I fortunately, (or rather unfortunately) remember at the very same moment of awakening that I have a low cell phone charge,my i-pod's charge is gone (the saddest) my clothes aren't pressed, the shower geysor isnt gonna work, and the water filter is dead. What a great beginning....
Somehow, I overcome all these hurdles (read as: no shower and crumpled clothes) to run out of the house..just to topple over the unpicked packet of garbage...Well, u gotta remember, the day started too perfect, U see. I slam the door hard to realise a bit late that I am still wearing my indoor slippers without my house key in hand..and ofcourse, I am the last one to step out.

Behold folks at office, here comes Snigdha, in the most stylish crumpled AnnaBelle and bathroom slippers. To my dismay, I found that I have a meeting with the clients arranged afternoon, which was, U guessed it right, a video conference. I come back to my desk in distress, and sit to jang-bang the keyboard as usual when hey....there is a mail from my ol buddy...Was so happy....Didnt even wait to see whats the subject, just opened it. And my luck plays again, this time in the form of two tennagers humping each other in the wildest manner possible, nd ofcourse, with the loudest screams.. Realisation dawned upon me after two seconds, when the whole floor turned around to look..And ofcourse, if I forgot to mention, I sit between two Managers (thats the seat my client gave me). They had their good share of glance, before I could close the window, and most sheepishly, apologising profusely for the insane mail. (I felt like strangulating the &%*&^*%% of a friend for doing that to me !!) Hold on, it isnt over yet...The admin guy pulls me aside to let me know that I introduced a very privileged Trojan into the network through some application running on my system, due to which, it has to be formatted and quarantined..the rest of the day was sans a system, easy to guess, huh?
It never seemed to end without disasters, and I returned after a heavy duty, tasking (mentally, physically and emotionally) time to home, rotten home. To just see that there is still no water and no power. Let me just bury myself in the bed, when my roommate comes screaming.. "There is a big Rat in the kitchen, and it seems to be sitting on the food box, cant make it out well in the daaaaaaaaaark....." her voice trailed away...Oh no, not again...Please please....Not again... Just pulled my sheet over and closed my eyes wearily.....
Dinnnggggggggggg !!!! Its really morning Snigdha......