I will Survive ! - the Corporate Call

At first I was afraid I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live inside corporate lifestyle
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how I did so wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so I am on it
with my mind on race
I just walk in everyday with a glorified smiling face
I have changed that stupid look
I have started to believe
If I had known for just one second I am hurting only me
Go on now go, do what u can do,
Just turn around now
'Cause u don't bother anymore
I was stupid enough to think I am a minion all the time
Do you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh no not I. I will survive
Even when I go out out of breath
I know I'll stay alive
I've got so many docs to churn
I've got so many codes to run, yet I'll survive

(A big Heartfelt Thanks to Gloria Gaynor, for giving us something, that can be molded to anyone's frustration!)

Paragraphs of life.

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As it winds back, she met love, someone she wanted to live with forever. They were united by mother nature and God's blessings, and they decided to entwine into each other till eternity. Love and she are inseparable, and will continue to remain so ...

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She crossed paths with passion, and it flowed into her existence effortlessly. Together, they melted like chocolate; apart, it ate her raw. Flames was all it caused in her life, and she liked to burn in them.

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Lust could not be stopped, and so wouldn't she. They were wary of each other, but magnetic against laws of human. They bore the seed of insanity, enjoying every bit. Not to regret but once, they parted to unite each time.

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Revenge was her motive all the time. Only when she had it, she never knew. Ended up pining for it, meanwhile. While they loved to hate each other, they also could not stop themselves from indulging pulling out all stops. She would never know of it being with her, perhaps...

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End with love, while live with all others - she epitomizes truth. So difficult to accept, so difficult to live otherwise. Against all rights or wrongs, against human, in nature's womb.

Sinful Indulgence :

Wondered what would i do, if the worst ever happened to my life, and I knew there was no return ever, but to live on . Sounds depressing, eh ? But read on, and the ideas won't seem so bad; infact, they tend to be so normal sometimes, that I think if I should really have them before the worse :) (mental note : Mind makes too many excuses. Pocket does not. It only remains empty.)

1. Get my right arm and hand tattoed with some Satanic image. (throw in a few colours too, if I could bear with the pain)

2. Start to smoke, and try joints. ( then try weed, ganja, blah-blah, .... humbug)

(Note here too : as the points increase, the associated cost and craziness also increases. Man's after all, wildest in his fantasies, guffaw!!)...

3. Buy some second-hand SUV, which can be used as a live-in vehicle too. (you know where am I getting next)

4. Go on a road-trip, with enough moolah to fuel my vehicle and a good camera to click what I might never see again.

5. Ram some auto-wallahs and speed off.

6. Sell off the vehicle to join some roadies (not MTV, d***-a**, I meant the real ones) on an expedition to Himalayan roads.

7. If I live enough, come back and post my experiences.

The last, would be the tribute to this space, I have been writing for a while now.

Getting emotional. Not over the blog-space. For the Oscar win/ lose tone. WTF !!

Saat Khoon Maaf – Shot in a demented mind.

Vishal Bhardwaj’s upcoming movie – “Saat Khoon Maaf” (Seven Murders Forgiven), based on Ruskin Bond’s Susanna’s Seven Husbands from his book, When Darkness Falls and Other Stories, put my insane thought process to run.

Seven fathomable celebrity executions I would have loved to abet; unabashedly, shamelessly, nonchalantly. But sc**w Media, henceforth, I put cues as the names, easily guessable, worth the dry smile. Humour me, please.

1. Mr. ex-IIT-IIM, now hopeless writer – for writing heavily precedential Bollywood scripts and calling them books or novellas.
2. King of Bollywood’s best mate – for creating the movie industry’s most sucking movies ever and continue to do so, by taking exile breaks to foreign locales, pretending to churn out classics, instead, potions of boredom.
3. Mr. Nasal Artist - for his atrocity to compose music, sing, and even try a hand at acting!! And of course, torture all those, who went on to buy his songs and movies.
4. Mrs. Director-cum-mother of three of Bollywood – for making TMK along with her hubby. Both could have easily qualified as creators of an unfailing agent for Euthanasia.
5. This is a group massacre, which I would like to classify as a one-time killing: All Big Boss inmates, irrespective of seasons.
6. Any one CEO of a News Channel which airs Bollywood gossip, national lies and tries to expose dirty linen of peanut politicians and celebrities having little to do with our lives.
7. Finally, myself. For having to even think about the ones above for my blog, which, recently, has been out-of-activity anyways, and equally unproductive as any listed.

Disclaimer: The above written is purely the writer’s insanity and has nothing to do with living beings or things, assumed. If anybody else wants to take the responsibilities, the writer has no connection whatsoever.

Own Destroyer.

Every morning, while waking up, I pray vehemently to myself to spare any horrors for the day. Sounds crazy? Well; it did to me also till some time back. Some time …
Every morning, while waking up, I used to pray vehemently to God to spare any horrors for the day. It could all be attributed with gratitude to the days after college spent in offices I never really wanted to work in, or where I wanted to, things went wrong definitely :). After changing jobs and still finding no respite from the ill-fate, I decided to introspect. Where did I miserably fail? As my mom persistently chirped, who cast the bad luck on me? Or the last excuse, why wasn’t God happy with me?
I like to say good things about myself. Hold on, some define it as pride / snobbishness/ superiority complex, etc. etc. But I was well within limits. At least I thought so. Got a new bag, went about what a great deal it was. Got a new haircut, discussed about how cool it was. Got a new assignment, bragged about how passionate were my colleagues. And then, things never remained the same.
The bag rotted in the rain, the haircut frizzled in a week, and the colleagues, well, never expect too much out of any living thing which has a remote resemblance of a human. And still, I did not deter from my habit.
I also like to imagine the best happening to me. To elaborate, I love to live in my good dreams once a while, which gets pulled to many :(. And then, not only do these dreams crash in reality, but also favor to occur exactly opposite to what they should have been. Lucky, right? I don’t think so, not in the least bit. I could have, if the not-so-good dreams had opposites too in reality. But they always stuck to their script; or remained loyal to their occurrence.
The realization dawned. I was my own enemy. One thing I praise about myself, it had to back-fire. God’s idea of playing with a child. Or His lack of interest to improve things for me and instead, putting the mismanagement on myself. The irony was that whenever I bad-mouth myself thinking things can’t get worse, they do. Believe me, they definitely do.
My troubles are currently multiplying, now thanks to latest fad that I destroy myself, though I pity myself too for being such a helpless curser. Poor me, I can’t even like me too much, lest it all starts going wrong.
The madness is beckoning to immerse in itself. Let me stop bringing out more vivid picture, unless I really end up so. Amen.

13 B... Ouch !

One must really have been through serious s*** in life before he could cook up a plot alike this movie. Madhavan couldn't get more irritating (I have no words for rest of the cast, they were dismissable) and the concept couldn't be more pathetic. Then what prompts me to mention it in my ever-famous blog?(It really doesn't hurt to self-praise when no one else does.)
Well, it is the sequence of events post movie that my dear friend M* and I subsequently ended up in. They were something like:
1). Post movie, my body temperature was up by 13 C atleast due to high blood pressure and hyper-ventilation. I am sure that my pulse was also 130 beats/min.(cough-cough, OK...its exaggerated..)
2). M and I travelled arnd the city atleast 3-4 times after it and we ended up with a meter charge of 13 anywhere we went !!
3). M suddenly realised about his past birth while we were walking for our dinner. He claimed that the land the mall was standing was his ancestral property and he had been forcefully ousted from it in last birth. I seriously hoped that the claim would help us for a free meal at Mc D in the same mall. Phew, no avail...

Though TV helped Maddy to get to the root of the so-called bizarre events in life(that is the concept, folks..can you believe it !), I don't know what is going to help me come out of the madness of wasting money over painful Bollywood projects, no less bizarre ! Maybe, a good light-hearted movie, perhaps. Are you listening, Mr.Raju "Munnabhai" Hirani?

Slumdog Revisited...

paah...I know I must be the zillion-th person to write about this movie, but it still can be added to the list before reaching exhaustion. Watching SM, I wondered what would have happened if some Indian Guy had directed it.. would it have won so many Golden Globes and BAFTAs and the probable OSCARs too? Taking my thought a little more further (read: disaster) i wondered what if Mr. Sooraj Bharjatya had the oppurtunity to make SM... Won't it be tyranny to movies at its best ? So lets hit it folks !!!!

Possibilities Sustained:

• The title "Slumdog Millionaire" would definitely have to be changed, for heaven's sake !! To match upto Mr. Bharjatya's name-o-pedia, why not "Hum Gali-ke-Kutte Hain kaun, joh Crorepati banane-waale hain..."(phew !!! longest ever, I guess) WOW....the abbreviation would be HG2KHKJCBWH....(Random thought: he could use it as his e-mail password.)
  
• Movie opens with an elaborate song sequence of women dressed in vibrant colours welcoming Prem Malik(Jamaal is now Prem) and the host, Prem Kumar, of "Kaun banega SACCHAA Crorepati."
• We are replacing the cast, of course !! The host is "the long-forgotten" Mohnish Behl, Salman Khan as Prem (trying to look in his 20s and wearing a tight tee) and ofcourse, "yesteryear's sweet dame, today's pouting mame" - Bhagyashree as Latika Devi.( she still looks twenty). SB* had plans to cast Mr. Himalaya (her hus) as Prem's big B Salim, but the stone faced expressions weren't adequate for the over-emotive charactersand scenes involved here... so, Sallu Bhai's big Bhai is now taken by Sonu Sood....yaahhooo, the hyper-ventilating super-fluously righteous man who gets involved with underworld for the betterment of his younger brother's heart ailment.
• psst psst...Sallu is a heart patient.. So the first scene of playing cricket and running over slums is now changed to a golf course and Audis zipping around to tk young players(read: kids).After all, Sallu is a poor, rich son of a billionaire(Alok Nath, the perenial weeping father). Poor Sallu's richer father has spent all his billions to treat young boy but he does not recover...It will take the true love and care of a girl who is to come by...(We have interludes playing all along)
• Role 2: Bhagyashree is bhagya-heen coz she is born to a righteous saint in a brothel by chance... So she has to take up the dancing lessons to save her virginity and chastity.. Dancing away waiting for her prince "Prem" charming... Ring ringa ringa ring ringa ringa....Atta girl Latikaa !!!
  
• Sonu(Salim), to save his father's cuffs and Sallu's heart, plunges deep into underworld but instead, tries to reform the dons with Geeta pravachans. No avail.
• By now, Sallu(Prem bhai) is all beefed up and raring to go save Latikaa from the super flexing goons of Kamathipura...but his heart guys, his heart... We suddenly see Alok jee giving a big bhaashan to Prem to make him forget his heart and win back his love..( I am not going into details of how Prem met Latikaa....they were boating and Latikaa was singing and dancing in the boat...Rest is..ahem..)
• Prem fights goons with help of brother Salim... and saves Latikaa... Salim gets shot while jumping ahead of Prem to save him from a bullet which would have pierced his already hollow heart..(yuck yuck.. bad timing) Salim....booo-----hoooo.....dies !!!!!!!!!!! Big song sequence showing flashback of lil brothers in chaddi till date...(Were those pink chaddis?)
• Prem has surgery, but no money. What next? "Kaun Banega SACHCHAA Crorepati !!" Latika does a dare-devilry dance in temple of Maa Kaali while Prem plays till end..(by then, tomato sauce..oops..blood flows out from his nose, mouth, ears due to aaaargh...pain, guys !!) Prem Kumar, the host, lifts up pining Prem off the floor to make him answer the last question... and Janta ka vote makes him win !!!! 1 Crore !!!! Yippeeee, all blood dissapears (i think he licked up the sauce) and Prem stands triumphant when Latikaa comes running strainght from the finale performance to hug him...Alok jee's ashirwaad with Ganga-baho tears....
  
• We have the closing song playing..."Yeh Bandhan toh...pyaar ka bandhan hai...." (courtesy: Karan Arjun)

JAI BOL !!!!!

P.S: Last heard, Bharjatya had questioned OSCARS for their sense of cinema...

Adiga's White Tiger + My Roomie's Love Letter

Strange, as I got my hands on both together..The first on self-spent money (came cheap) and the second, flew into my hands (was expensive!).
Adiga, a man of nerves, I would say...Though he starts off as my most non-cherished writer, CB*, he makes it a worth-while read for amateurs,A booker sweep. (Last I heard, Rushdie was flushing himself down somewhere..."What the heck man, I though only complicated ones win Booker. They werent supposed to be understood!!" Hee haww...thanks Mr. Rushdie for the joke at ur expense!)
Not quarter as sophisticated as his predecessors, Adiga really hits the note with simple and dark writing. Lame and rudimentary at places, he still manages to keep the reader half-hooked to his Tiger.(Note: My other half was hooked to my roomie L*'s love-letter/break-up letter/scare letter/apology letter to her family-loving mate, P*.)

Adiga didnt leave me gasping for more, like L*'s letter did, thanks to her amazing word power ! Words that flow out from a Chopra's scriptwriter's hand for a "Mujhse Dosti Karoge" was completely all over her 6-paged saga..
"I dream of us being together for years, celebrating all our birthdays and anniversaries together, me waking up early morning at 6 (she was precise about the time, she still wakes up at 6.Practicing hard.)making tea for you, my daddy, your daddy, my mummy, your mummy.(I wonder why did she not include their dog Snuffy too...forethought!)" and blah-blah-blah-blah...till in evening, "I will wait by the dinner table trying to avoid sleep waiting for u to come back from office.." Phew ! are my girl-friends listening? Time to accept that Saas-Bahu epics are working their ways hard into minds of young, savvy, nymphets too...

And the five pages went on with lil-wil mushy-pushy dreams...until the last.That was my eye-pop-opener dahlings (this bloody word is thanks to Bombay Times)!!!
"I dreamt of all this endlessly, until I realised that u r finding me unlucky for u, and hence I think I wan2 break up...coz I cannot be unlucky for u...I always wanted to be lucky..I respect ur family, but u think I hate them..I dont really mind u spending money on them, but then, u think otherwise...dont think its going places.. Bye P*,,,urs forever, loved u a lot, L*..."
the page put the former pages in past-tense, i realised later...things are falling into place now...Why L* happily holds hands with her new mate Y* and trolls off every evening till late... but then, P* was just few weeks ago.......Never mind, Adiga, Ur White Tiger Rocks man !! It kept me sane through to this morning atleast !

So What If I watch movies alone?

"Hey....U free this evening? No??ummm...aaan...oookkaayy...But I reallly wanted to go for it. (soft grunt) Never mind. Some other time. Lets surely catch it up by next week." Companionship, man's curse in disguise (puns intended) hits hard at every turn. And planning out a petty time-off gets so difficult with a couple of people more added into the plan. My simple funda: Never wait for anybody to accompany you to movies. Watch them whenever you want, preferably turns out to be alone.
Now thats quite surprising to a lot of my friends, difficult to assess why. I love watching movies and the general reactions of the audience, rather than gossiping with my next-seat neighbour through it. As for the Popcorn and Pepsi, no...sorry, not really fond of it, so don't need to strategise to control spending over it.
Movies can really be enjoyed alone, unless it turns out to be a totally nasty and unbearable saga. Now, that too, with somebody else, has both up-side and flip-side.
Up-side: You get to curse and beat up that fellow to no end if it was his/her suggestion.
Flip-side: He gets to do the action !! :))

My choice of movies vary, because I am a total movie-buff. If I have watched Dark Knight on first day, then I have also ordered and made the Cinemax people to screen a show of "Ram Gopal Verma Ki Aag" for me and my privileged set of friends(yes, you read it right! there r more nuts like me on this earth.) So now, rather than waiting for a person to accompany me and eventually start cursing the poor fellow, just because he/she could not, i get on the expedition myself. And you know what, quite a lot of interesting reasons to do so as well:
1. U always manage to get a top-row seat even if its House-full. (trust me on that...the seating architect at every multiplex has somehow provided odd number of seats, to always accomodate one singleton at last moment :D)
2. U have all your freedom to shout, hoot, whistle or scream when you feel like. There is nobody u care for to stop u then...(That seems like a nasty one, but then, its fun !!)
3. U can ogle at all the good-looking hunks/babes for how much time ever u want. Its their partner's (if any) worry, not yours. Just make sure u r ready to deal if they happen to confront u (thts ur call).

Ahmmm....I think I am exceeding too much on the positive sides. Well, the fact is, its not actually loner to go alone to movies (hey! that doesn't mean you chuck a date to go alone!), but its fun and kinda introspection-time to figure out what a bad taste of movies you have and why others run, when you ask them out! :D