Slumdog Revisited...

paah...I know I must be the zillion-th person to write about this movie, but it still can be added to the list before reaching exhaustion. Watching SM, I wondered what would have happened if some Indian Guy had directed it.. would it have won so many Golden Globes and BAFTAs and the probable OSCARs too? Taking my thought a little more further (read: disaster) i wondered what if Mr. Sooraj Bharjatya had the oppurtunity to make SM... Won't it be tyranny to movies at its best ? So lets hit it folks !!!!

Possibilities Sustained:

• The title "Slumdog Millionaire" would definitely have to be changed, for heaven's sake !! To match upto Mr. Bharjatya's name-o-pedia, why not "Hum Gali-ke-Kutte Hain kaun, joh Crorepati banane-waale hain..."(phew !!! longest ever, I guess) WOW....the abbreviation would be HG2KHKJCBWH....(Random thought: he could use it as his e-mail password.)
  
• Movie opens with an elaborate song sequence of women dressed in vibrant colours welcoming Prem Malik(Jamaal is now Prem) and the host, Prem Kumar, of "Kaun banega SACCHAA Crorepati."
• We are replacing the cast, of course !! The host is "the long-forgotten" Mohnish Behl, Salman Khan as Prem (trying to look in his 20s and wearing a tight tee) and ofcourse, "yesteryear's sweet dame, today's pouting mame" - Bhagyashree as Latika Devi.( she still looks twenty). SB* had plans to cast Mr. Himalaya (her hus) as Prem's big B Salim, but the stone faced expressions weren't adequate for the over-emotive charactersand scenes involved here... so, Sallu Bhai's big Bhai is now taken by Sonu Sood....yaahhooo, the hyper-ventilating super-fluously righteous man who gets involved with underworld for the betterment of his younger brother's heart ailment.
• psst psst...Sallu is a heart patient.. So the first scene of playing cricket and running over slums is now changed to a golf course and Audis zipping around to tk young players(read: kids).After all, Sallu is a poor, rich son of a billionaire(Alok Nath, the perenial weeping father). Poor Sallu's richer father has spent all his billions to treat young boy but he does not recover...It will take the true love and care of a girl who is to come by...(We have interludes playing all along)
• Role 2: Bhagyashree is bhagya-heen coz she is born to a righteous saint in a brothel by chance... So she has to take up the dancing lessons to save her virginity and chastity.. Dancing away waiting for her prince "Prem" charming... Ring ringa ringa ring ringa ringa....Atta girl Latikaa !!!
  
• Sonu(Salim), to save his father's cuffs and Sallu's heart, plunges deep into underworld but instead, tries to reform the dons with Geeta pravachans. No avail.
• By now, Sallu(Prem bhai) is all beefed up and raring to go save Latikaa from the super flexing goons of Kamathipura...but his heart guys, his heart... We suddenly see Alok jee giving a big bhaashan to Prem to make him forget his heart and win back his love..( I am not going into details of how Prem met Latikaa....they were boating and Latikaa was singing and dancing in the boat...Rest is..ahem..)
• Prem fights goons with help of brother Salim... and saves Latikaa... Salim gets shot while jumping ahead of Prem to save him from a bullet which would have pierced his already hollow heart..(yuck yuck.. bad timing) Salim....booo-----hoooo.....dies !!!!!!!!!!! Big song sequence showing flashback of lil brothers in chaddi till date...(Were those pink chaddis?)
• Prem has surgery, but no money. What next? "Kaun Banega SACHCHAA Crorepati !!" Latika does a dare-devilry dance in temple of Maa Kaali while Prem plays till end..(by then, tomato sauce..oops..blood flows out from his nose, mouth, ears due to aaaargh...pain, guys !!) Prem Kumar, the host, lifts up pining Prem off the floor to make him answer the last question... and Janta ka vote makes him win !!!! 1 Crore !!!! Yippeeee, all blood dissapears (i think he licked up the sauce) and Prem stands triumphant when Latikaa comes running strainght from the finale performance to hug him...Alok jee's ashirwaad with Ganga-baho tears....
  
• We have the closing song playing..."Yeh Bandhan toh...pyaar ka bandhan hai...." (courtesy: Karan Arjun)

JAI BOL !!!!!

P.S: Last heard, Bharjatya had questioned OSCARS for their sense of cinema...

The flutter in being an Indian, and, a Mumbaikar...

It doesnt hit you always, the patriotism-feel, does it? And when it hits, it does hard. Very hard. Traumatising, Saddening and Unforgettable images etch in mind reminding you of your nation, of who you are to this soil.
Sitting in the rickshaw today, my thoughts were streaming one after the another.....
"What if this rick gets blown up now?
Will I live to see my love once more and tell him that the petty fights or arguments don't matter, but our life together does and he is the best guy I have ever known in my world.
Will I be able to hug my family and let them know that no matter how much they haul abuses at me for not being caring enough towards them, I still love them the most.
Will I hear the voice of every friend of mine ever again to crack a joke at their expense as always and apologise sheepishly saying I love them a lot.
More importantly, will I live enough to pay the fare of this ride and walk into my office, greeting my ever smiling watchman...."
"Madam, pahunch gaye....Saatth (60) rupaye...Chutta do..mere pass nahii hai"
I literally wanted to hug the auto-wallah..(He could have fainted, if I did..poor chap) Thanked him lot many times, and went on, "Bhaiyya, desh humaara hai. Kissi aur ko itni jaldi thodne nahii denge." Confused soul. He smiled back, "Darr humein bhi hai madam, par zindagi kahan rukne waali hai...Aur mumbai toh apna jagah hai. Aaaj kuch khoye, kal saath rahein toh waapas paa bhi lenge"
True Indian..True Mumbaikar.. Jai Hind!!

May all souls rest in peace who are victimised in the blood-shed on 27/11/2008 and following. Amen.

urge to break-out...

I yearn to break free, to break-out in rains, lest those pearls get stolen by piercing eyes,
Its the inner breath, raring to lead its way out, when will you let me, O' ruthless world?
I do not want to be loved, do not want to be cared for, not to be thought of,
Let me break away, break-out for once..

Shy lights, stare down on me, sneering endlessly, mocking me, leaving me to die,
Its unbearable, ah! the pain so deep. Can't get over it, don't want to come out of it, maybe?
Words cease to come, Music stops at a note, I look up, sneers continue,
My heart doesn't speak anymore, neither cry, nor smile, does it?

Let me out, Let me free. Its what it appears, letters on fire.
The difference hurts your eyes, but the pain, I can stand no more.
I do not want to be loved, do not want to be cared for, not to be thought of,
Let me break away, break-out for once..

My love Nest...all mine !! I found the place at last yaaron.. all welcome, except drop-drunk..I have a small bathroom...

Adiga's White Tiger + My Roomie's Love Letter

Strange, as I got my hands on both together..The first on self-spent money (came cheap) and the second, flew into my hands (was expensive!).
Adiga, a man of nerves, I would say...Though he starts off as my most non-cherished writer, CB*, he makes it a worth-while read for amateurs,A booker sweep. (Last I heard, Rushdie was flushing himself down somewhere..."What the heck man, I though only complicated ones win Booker. They werent supposed to be understood!!" Hee haww...thanks Mr. Rushdie for the joke at ur expense!)
Not quarter as sophisticated as his predecessors, Adiga really hits the note with simple and dark writing. Lame and rudimentary at places, he still manages to keep the reader half-hooked to his Tiger.(Note: My other half was hooked to my roomie L*'s love-letter/break-up letter/scare letter/apology letter to her family-loving mate, P*.)

Adiga didnt leave me gasping for more, like L*'s letter did, thanks to her amazing word power ! Words that flow out from a Chopra's scriptwriter's hand for a "Mujhse Dosti Karoge" was completely all over her 6-paged saga..
"I dream of us being together for years, celebrating all our birthdays and anniversaries together, me waking up early morning at 6 (she was precise about the time, she still wakes up at 6.Practicing hard.)making tea for you, my daddy, your daddy, my mummy, your mummy.(I wonder why did she not include their dog Snuffy too...forethought!)" and blah-blah-blah-blah...till in evening, "I will wait by the dinner table trying to avoid sleep waiting for u to come back from office.." Phew ! are my girl-friends listening? Time to accept that Saas-Bahu epics are working their ways hard into minds of young, savvy, nymphets too...

And the five pages went on with lil-wil mushy-pushy dreams...until the last.That was my eye-pop-opener dahlings (this bloody word is thanks to Bombay Times)!!!
"I dreamt of all this endlessly, until I realised that u r finding me unlucky for u, and hence I think I wan2 break up...coz I cannot be unlucky for u...I always wanted to be lucky..I respect ur family, but u think I hate them..I dont really mind u spending money on them, but then, u think otherwise...dont think its going places.. Bye P*,,,urs forever, loved u a lot, L*..."
the page put the former pages in past-tense, i realised later...things are falling into place now...Why L* happily holds hands with her new mate Y* and trolls off every evening till late... but then, P* was just few weeks ago.......Never mind, Adiga, Ur White Tiger Rocks man !! It kept me sane through to this morning atleast !

The best blend of Indian classical instruments (read as Flute, Veena and Tabla) on lounge. Presenting you Talvin Singh in Buddha Bar III:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yeau6MzKpUI

(gives me just a reason more to like Lounge Music...)

And the House-Hunt goes on...

It was quite expected at our land-lord's end to hike our rent for the next lease period, coz he always felt under-played when it came to the art of gamble of rent. (Wow, I never thought I could make up that !) So, he gave us the bad news, quite early this month. And that gave me just another reason to move out and live on my own. (Its on my never-ending wishlist, to live alone and watch scary movies all through night, mind it..Vampires are the only ones you can depend on if you wanna save yourselves from the country's politicians, he-he)
The house-hunt began...Wham !! (ding-dong) Searching a studio room apartment in India, more precisely, Mumbai, is next to impossible. Yet, given the kind I am (read: insane), I set out on it. And the first week itself, I managed to get a standing offer, without a broker(sort of a miracle)!
This lil 1 room apartment, (252 sq.ft, the owner was very precise about the area, I guess he couldn't reduce it further) situated in a plush suburb, on its most happening street, was the most sidey flat I had ever seen in my life. Nothing inside the house was intact. Broken windows, broken panes, broken plaster, broken door (not the main door, thank Jesus!). And he had the nerve to ask for a handsome rent too for this state-of-art mishap. Can't believe that some day, someone is going to pay that amount and live in that rat-hole with no other go.
What fascinated (or rather, nerved) me were the neighbours. A bunch of Bihari boys (all looked the same to me), a chattisgarh couple and a goanese bachelor. Mighty lucky, that I got to see all of them on the same day..(TGIH) When I asked the owner if it would be safe to come in at night, being a single woman, his reply: "Ofcourse, these boys will never bother you if your door is closed !!" Beat that reply... He he...cant stop smiling now thinking what a blunder it would have been if I had taken the offer listening to my once-a-while possible crazy instincts.

And the house-hunt goes on...

P.S: If you have had the patience to read all this, then just don't sit smiling idle. Help me out in finding a good place !! Do what you can..Its a request, not an order.
(I have read that requests work better than orders :D )