Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
A feather lost … So was my friend
Life and time never stops, not once for those who never want it to move. How one could wish if time waited for them, to explain, to repent, to act upon and to rectify life’s wrong moments. But alas, it happens only in supernatural fictions and dreams.
The day never blurs, the wound stays afresh, when she walked out. Walked far, walked beyond where she could hear my cries. My woes which had turned into bitterness within. The revenge I had to vent upon those similar, the trust I had lost hoping for the best. But she did not postpone her inhibitions. And I could not stop her from leaving.
I was a bird with fewer feathers, but a bird that learnt to fly low to still fly. Though obstacles increased, and vision obstructed, yet flying low was to land quicker whenever tired. Euphemism – a human with lesser good friends. Man never is complete without them, the ones who call to abuse you, who still wake you up from deserved sound sleep, who celebrate you’re-getting-dumped to make you feel lighter, who eye and gobble everything your Mom dishes out, and who always have to two shoulders for you to lean upon and wail.
The void lasts forever, trying hard to be replaced with new faces, failing endlessly. The search continues, till hope wilts and you coil up a loner. But does life end? It pulls on with more stabs sustained. And you are weakened to be stronger next. A good friend can never be bargained for, so cannot be life and time ….
Friday, July 23, 2010
Every morning, while waking up, I pray vehemently to myself to spare any horrors for the day. Sounds crazy? Well; it did to me also till some time back. Some time …
Every morning, while waking up, I used to pray vehemently to God to spare any horrors for the day. It could all be attributed with gratitude to the days after college spent in offices I never really wanted to work in, or where I wanted to, things went wrong definitely :). After changing jobs and still finding no respite from the ill-fate, I decided to introspect. Where did I miserably fail? As my mom persistently chirped, who cast the bad luck on me? Or the last excuse, why wasn’t God happy with me?
I like to say good things about myself. Hold on, some define it as pride / snobbishness/ superiority complex, etc. etc. But I was well within limits. At least I thought so. Got a new bag, went about what a great deal it was. Got a new haircut, discussed about how cool it was. Got a new assignment, bragged about how passionate were my colleagues. And then, things never remained the same.
The bag rotted in the rain, the haircut frizzled in a week, and the colleagues, well, never expect too much out of any living thing which has a remote resemblance of a human. And still, I did not deter from my habit.
I also like to imagine the best happening to me. To elaborate, I love to live in my good dreams once a while, which gets pulled to many :(. And then, not only do these dreams crash in reality, but also favor to occur exactly opposite to what they should have been. Lucky, right? I don’t think so, not in the least bit. I could have, if the not-so-good dreams had opposites too in reality. But they always stuck to their script; or remained loyal to their occurrence.
The realization dawned. I was my own enemy. One thing I praise about myself, it had to back-fire. God’s idea of playing with a child. Or His lack of interest to improve things for me and instead, putting the mismanagement on myself. The irony was that whenever I bad-mouth myself thinking things can’t get worse, they do. Believe me, they definitely do.
My troubles are currently multiplying, now thanks to latest fad that I destroy myself, though I pity myself too for being such a helpless curser. Poor me, I can’t even like me too much, lest it all starts going wrong.
The madness is beckoning to immerse in itself. Let me stop bringing out more vivid picture, unless I really end up so. Amen.