Sinful Indulgence :

Wondered what would i do, if the worst ever happened to my life, and I knew there was no return ever, but to live on . Sounds depressing, eh ? But read on, and the ideas won't seem so bad; infact, they tend to be so normal sometimes, that I think if I should really have them before the worse :) (mental note : Mind makes too many excuses. Pocket does not. It only remains empty.)

1. Get my right arm and hand tattoed with some Satanic image. (throw in a few colours too, if I could bear with the pain)

2. Start to smoke, and try joints. ( then try weed, ganja, blah-blah, .... humbug)

(Note here too : as the points increase, the associated cost and craziness also increases. Man's after all, wildest in his fantasies, guffaw!!)...

3. Buy some second-hand SUV, which can be used as a live-in vehicle too. (you know where am I getting next)

4. Go on a road-trip, with enough moolah to fuel my vehicle and a good camera to click what I might never see again.

5. Ram some auto-wallahs and speed off.

6. Sell off the vehicle to join some roadies (not MTV, d***-a**, I meant the real ones) on an expedition to Himalayan roads.

7. If I live enough, come back and post my experiences.

The last, would be the tribute to this space, I have been writing for a while now.

Getting emotional. Not over the blog-space. For the Oscar win/ lose tone. WTF !!

Briefest Stint on a Social Networking Site ...

28 Hours ( Access limited to 3 hours)

Pet-o-philia:

Tired of my Mom's innumerable pleadings and complaints to spend a long vacation with my "old man and woman" at my picturesque home in Kerala, I finally obliged with a work-from-home option loaded on my shoulders. Not as exciting and fast-moving life it shall be, having known that, I moved in for a month to my Dad's lil villa on the river-side.

A pretty predictable routine, my Mom and Dad have made for themselves for each day. Wake-up, argue, have breakfast, argue (maybe fight), have lunch, argue, have evening tea, fight, dinner, argue, sleep. Things might change between days, when they decide to go out, and argue there. When you don't hear noises and voices in my house or close to where my parents are together,assume something's majorly gone wrong. Else, everything is just as fine and bonny it could be.

My Dad loves fish, and though he complains my Mom doesnt make them often for him, I don't see much truth in that considering all fishermen flocking every morning in front of my house promising the best and fresh ones. And though the dish may be lip-smacking, the effort that goes behind it is remarkable ( despicable to me, since I can't bear the smell and feel of any raw fish). I decided to watch my Mom clean those slimy things once in the back-yard from a distance. To be more precise, my lappy and me on the terrace, me with nothing much to do than gaze around, and Mom down there.

And he came. Magnificient. A giant white-eagle who perched right on top of the wall my Mom rested against. He was a treat to watch, but a scare. Eagles hit hard, and deep. What if Mom got hurt? with these fishes, I was sure the eagle might show no pity for my Mom's poor head. Ideas racing in my mind on how to warn my Mom, my jaw dropped when she raised a fish in her hand and the eagle pecked at it lovingly. One strange pet she has, i thought. And that's when two more came. Two ravens. The three together were a sight to watch, white between two blacks, all waiting for their master to feed them with her own hands.

My mom later told me, that if she misses for a couple of days, the eagle shows his anger by making screeching noises while perching on our terrace. But no physical harm. The ravens, more subtle, only pluck the tender fruits and flowers as their retaliation. Interesting.

I dialled my nature-loving uncle at my maternal home to tell him of this spectacular pet show. He was busy feeding his new friend. An elapid reptile just eight feet long. King Cobra.

A feather lost … So was my friend

Life and time never stops, not once for those who never want it to move. How one could wish if time waited for them, to explain, to repent, to act upon and to rectify life’s wrong moments. But alas, it happens only in supernatural fictions and dreams.

The day never blurs, the wound stays afresh, when she walked out. Walked far, walked beyond where she could hear my cries. My woes which had turned into bitterness within. The revenge I had to vent upon those similar, the trust I had lost hoping for the best. But she did not postpone her inhibitions. And I could not stop her from leaving.

I was a bird with fewer feathers, but a bird that learnt to fly low to still fly. Though obstacles increased, and vision obstructed, yet flying low was to land quicker whenever tired. Euphemism – a human with lesser good friends. Man never is complete without them, the ones who call to abuse you, who still wake you up from deserved sound sleep, who celebrate you’re-getting-dumped to make you feel lighter, who eye and gobble everything your Mom dishes out, and who always have to two shoulders for you to lean upon and wail.

The void lasts forever, trying hard to be replaced with new faces, failing endlessly. The search continues, till hope wilts and you coil up a loner. But does life end? It pulls on with more stabs sustained. And you are weakened to be stronger next. A good friend can never be bargained for, so cannot be life and time ….

Dedicated to all my good friends whom I treasure, away or near to me.

Magic at Kashid

The drops of water trickling down my hair,

The sky so dark, yet so clear,

I stand with my eyes closed, waiting for more,

the cold droplets wetting me on the shore.

Eyes to open, waiting to only see,

the wide-open arms of mother sea.
She was beckoning me into her lap,

with waves of thunder and soft clap.

The moment to cherish, the moment to live,

I breathed happiness like no one else could give,

It was the time if missed, never to be forgiven,

to see water unite from hell and heaven..

----- Gratitude to Kashid beach during Monsoon and very dear friends

Work-O-Phobia

Ever since I joined my current assignment, never have I hated work so much. Mostly, it gets on my nerves, travels down the spine and creates an itch in my a** which I can't even scratch due to office manners. The depth of my frustration seems pretty visible.

Traverse back 9 months, when I fell into the dazzling web of virtually projected oppurtunities to learn and carve a niche for myself. Oh, the lead was so cunningly persuasive that I had no word against. Life never seemed better, if not worser.
And I stepped into hell. With so many expectations, with so less to have. Recession also found its time to have more fun. The job-scare over-ruled the job-respect. But my self-respect refused to lose.
Today, I stand at a point of losing my bread, but do I really care for it more than my conscience? I think not.

Just a request. Add the title to the dictionary. It really explains a whole lot.

Mood: Defunct

LUV U ALL !!

Through those paleolithic times in Kharadi,

Alone we came, together we stayed,

Never could I live without the five of you,

Anyone from then, whom I loved more and cared.

Those days, through pain, cheat and sorrow,

Came moments of happiness and joy,

Life couldn't have been more merry,

And sure, we didn't miss any stripper boy !!

Amazing culinary and dancing skills we had,

Oh! the nights without power, the fun endless,

Six of us, inseparable day-by-day,

Friendship, never to break and PRICELESS ...

----- ( Dedicated to my GIPSSY gang ... )

My love Nest...all mine !! I found the place at last yaaron.. all welcome, except drop-drunk..I have a small bathroom...

And the House-Hunt goes on...

It was quite expected at our land-lord's end to hike our rent for the next lease period, coz he always felt under-played when it came to the art of gamble of rent. (Wow, I never thought I could make up that !) So, he gave us the bad news, quite early this month. And that gave me just another reason to move out and live on my own. (Its on my never-ending wishlist, to live alone and watch scary movies all through night, mind it..Vampires are the only ones you can depend on if you wanna save yourselves from the country's politicians, he-he)
The house-hunt began...Wham !! (ding-dong) Searching a studio room apartment in India, more precisely, Mumbai, is next to impossible. Yet, given the kind I am (read: insane), I set out on it. And the first week itself, I managed to get a standing offer, without a broker(sort of a miracle)!
This lil 1 room apartment, (252 sq.ft, the owner was very precise about the area, I guess he couldn't reduce it further) situated in a plush suburb, on its most happening street, was the most sidey flat I had ever seen in my life. Nothing inside the house was intact. Broken windows, broken panes, broken plaster, broken door (not the main door, thank Jesus!). And he had the nerve to ask for a handsome rent too for this state-of-art mishap. Can't believe that some day, someone is going to pay that amount and live in that rat-hole with no other go.
What fascinated (or rather, nerved) me were the neighbours. A bunch of Bihari boys (all looked the same to me), a chattisgarh couple and a goanese bachelor. Mighty lucky, that I got to see all of them on the same day..(TGIH) When I asked the owner if it would be safe to come in at night, being a single woman, his reply: "Ofcourse, these boys will never bother you if your door is closed !!" Beat that reply... He he...cant stop smiling now thinking what a blunder it would have been if I had taken the offer listening to my once-a-while possible crazy instincts.

And the house-hunt goes on...

P.S: If you have had the patience to read all this, then just don't sit smiling idle. Help me out in finding a good place !! Do what you can..Its a request, not an order.
(I have read that requests work better than orders :D )

In the work-Room...

"Arey Yaar !!! ......Lagaa de na na gaane...Is room ka yahii toh faayeda hai"
I could not exactly map the sanity of working inside a conference room with four other guys who do anything to steal a glimpse of whats-in-your-handbag.(Sorry Ss*,T*,S* and M*, if you r reading this, i mean no offence, just kidding :)) )

But as soon as music and tea started flowing,(courtesy:Mr. Ss*'s jeans was having its share of tea than himself), things started to lighten up, and before I knew, I was actually sharing a laugh or two with these funny men. With Ss having song tastes like Rudaali, Maachis, Rothlu(i made it up), etc..etc...from mourning to Bryan singing "69..." with chorus (read:us, of course), i re-discovered the fun I have with music around me.

And the best part is, my manager is happy with my work (I think he is forced to feel so, coz he is getting no one better to work for him, so being satisfied with the worst he has :D How modest!!)

Yaayeeee.....I like this new place, kinda adjusting faster than expected...Gona really miss what I have here in the outside world of cubicles. Thank U co-conference-deskmates and S*'s lappy!!

Eyes are Precious!!! But so is Profession ...

Hit the clinic today for an eye check-up. Thank God for bringing in all these ISO Certifications, coz hospital scenarios have improved tremendously in India !! Dressed like a failing pop-star (read: in white), I braved my way through the crowd waiting for their ocular mending. Was lucky enough to get a quick appointment with the doctor with whose conversation,some part I would like to share:
Doc: So U complain of itching and watering?? (Psst...psst...sounded more like I had some strange boils bursting all over mu body..)
Me: In eyes..
Doc: Ahh..yes, of course..What do you do?
Me: nothing !!! (pah...my dumb mind) they just start irritating me when I wake aa..
Doc: (cutting my words) They r ur eyes...How can u accuse them of irritating U?
(By Now, I was sure that the Doc had a really pathetic breakfast or row with wife in morning today, that he is leaving no stone unturned to irritate his patients even more.)
Me:(displaying more patience) Yes Doctor..But I cant really get along the whole day well if the morning starts such.
Doc: (testing my eyes) hmmmm....lets see...What do u work as?
Me: Software Engiii.....
Doc: (again cutting my words) There lies the problem, my lady! Ur job is the culprit !! Leave it....and U shall not suffer anymore !!
(While the Doctor was dancing around like an Oracle having just delivered a prophecy, I couldn't believe my ears on what he was saying.)
Me: Doc, U dont understand...its my profession. Don't know what will I do without it.
Doc: What will you do without your eyes lady? Blindly, bang on your computer? Tell me tell me tell me....
(I realised at this precise moment that the Doc had no particular liking towards people of my race, the I.T. race. So it was time now to race out of his room before he would pull out my eyes for their safety.)
Me: Give me medicines Doc. I promise to use them without fail and take frequent breaks while at work. (Now thats something nobody ever needs to tell me to :D )
Doc: I shall do that...Its my job. But I see one more young girl falling prey to vision blurs for not heeding my words.It wouuuu...
Me: (cutting his words, surprise!) Doc, please...Lemme go..I got to get back to work..And its far. Will come back to u if problem persists.

He didnt say a word more..Got my state, I guess.Prescription given, I am out.
Out wondering, what good am I doing to myself with this profession? Ironically, losing my vision not to see the crisis that world is plunging into, day after day. But it really isn't worth it, is it?

Bade asked me to pen down my thoughts as and when they flow....The disastrous outcome to be put in action finally, I guess. But does that mean my blog stops?

Not at all !!! Any readable, censored, decent, U/A (jus kiddin!) stuff will still have its preference here ! Blog always remains one of my favourite relaxation points.. And for some others, an added advantage to pull my leg for all the stupidity I pour in here...

(This is a note of thanks to the blog space for bearing my thoughts.)

Chetan's 3 Mistakes of Life.

Caught it lying on my room-mate's forever scruffy bed-cum-table-cum-(place to bang down your arse as soon as u enter totally exhausted into our teeny-weeny 2 BHK).. Wow !!! Mr. Chetan Bhagat musters up courage to write yet another mega melodramatic thriller after the disastrous call centre book. I absolutely adore this man who left a plush job in Southeast Asia after graduating from IIM-A (sigh....its just a dream for many) to finally write a script for behold ! its Bollywood beckoning again !!!!

The Call Centre thing was itself nauseatic..I wondered why the life of call-centre beings was restricted to food, sex and wine in a nutshell in his "transformation". Well, could almost confirm my thoughts with his latest book....Govind, the protagonist, promises the book to be sans any thrill or sex as a prologue, but, u have it,,,extravagantly defined as sins in the very few last chapters..

I do not understand what Mr. Bhagat is aiming at..capturing the shy indian minds by epitomising pre-marital sex as sin again and again (give up dude !)...or enduring his regular readers and some filmmakers to churn out yet another Bollywood Masala...Mr. Bhagat, You have a real good future with writing as you can write simple lucid translations without emphasizing on minute details to go ahead and capture readers..But please come out of this melodrama "Indianised-over-the-top" workaholic-ness..We have a melodrama Queen already on television, don't need a melodrama writer/scriptwriter too..And that too, a super-scholar (under-estimated)!!